Another year, another day

Eight years gone, but not forgotten. RIP dad. It never fails. To this day, eight years later, I still struggle with this challenge-the toughest challenge in life. We all take life for granted. We don't stop to smell the roses or listen to the rain fall. We're consumed with work, families, getting kids to practice, housework, whatever. But when it's all gone and life is over, you'll look back and see the sad face of your five year old because you didn't take the time to play a game with him. The laundry needed to get done that time. Does the laundry care if you put it off an hour or a day? I'm just as guilty as everyone else-another time, another day-sweetie-will get to it tomorrow. But what it tomorrow never comes? Don't live your life in regrets. Pay attention to your loved ones and put their needs first before housework. The work can wait, but the satisfying smile of a game cannot. It's been a tough weekend, this coming from a daddy's girl and knowing the day he died, my life would forever change. I've learned to smile and not worry about little things. I've learned to appreciate life-the good and the bad and make the best out of what I have. I owe it all to him-the positive attitude he gave me. I hope as he watches over me, that he'd be proud of who I've become and hopefully with his guidance, will continue to grow and give back all he gave me.

The struggles

To pause for a minute on complications from pregnancy and delivery and it does continue:-( I want to reflect for a minute of one of the hugest struggles anyone will ever face and unfortunately we all will have this challenge. That's losing a loved one. As a child, a neighbor lady once died. It was sad for that moment, but life continued. I lost my only grandpa I knew at age 6. Reflecting back, I only have memories of him being ill with an oxygen tube down his nose. I don't recall that changing my life much. I quickly overcame it not realizing the impact his death had on others. Now as an adult and having experienced the loss of my father, followed by my granmda less then a year later, and a year after that my last grandma. I didn't think it would ever stop. Then I remembered how I've heard bad things happen in three. I was reassured a little bit that maybe we'd get a break from funerals. Tomorrow-Saturday, April 17th marks my father's 8 year anniversary of his death. Even to this day, I struggle with the entire month of April-tears fill my eyes as I relive those last few days with him, watching him slip away. Once full of life and now just a few weeks into his 53rd year of life, it's cut short. Way too short. He's missed out on so much and we all have for losing him so young. Losing a loved one-child, parent, sibling, spouse, whatever is the biggest challenge I believe ever. So as you are all sitting there pausing for a moment on how difficult life is because it's raining or you have to pay in taxes, whatever it is, please take a moment to think about all of the sick fighting for their life and the families that are affected.

Transverse/ECV Procedure

For all of you pregnant soon-to-be or already experienced mommies, you do not ever want to hear that your baby is laying sideways in you (transverse). I read about it in the "What to Expect When Expecting" book (a total must have book for any pregnant women). I never really knew it would mean anything to me though. On my week 37 normal appointment, I learned just that.My baby was transverse. They confirm it with just a portable ultrasound. There was literally a booklet of information I had to read through to make an informative decision on what to do. I could do nothing and hope the baby will turn on it's own, I could have a procedure called ECV (External Cephalic Version), I could just schedule a planned C-section at 39 weeks. What to do. This was my 4th baby and my last. All of my other babies were born naturally and without any complications. Please don't ever take that for granted. I didn't really want to have to experience a C-section if I didn't have to so do I go for the ECV or do I wait it out and hope the baby moves. My very experienced mid-wife told me that I was almost 38 weeks now and the likelihood of the baby moving on it's own is pretty unlikely considering the baby has been in that position most of it's time. Also, the longer I wait to make a decision, the worse my chances become of it being successful. The baby gets bigger and less amniotic fluid so pushing the baby into the correct position is more difficult. Right now, they gave me at 75% success rate. You'd think that's good and go for it, but read the fine print on the possible side effects. Small percents for all between 1-5% but the risks can be so severe-to the point of causing death to the baby. Is it worth it? If you're faced with this kind of decision, read all of the information out there, meet with the OB doctor that will perform it, ask them their success rate, how many or what type of complications have they experienced. If you do make the decision to do this, look at what they'll do if it's succesful. There is the possibility that if the procedure works, baby could turn back into the transverse position again. Can they induce right after the procedure? This procedure is done in labor and delivery units by experienced OB doctors. They do monitor both mom and baby before and after the procedure. I had a tough decision to make. My husband was leaning towards having it as the side effects of a major surgery he thought were worse then the small percent of the procedure. What a tough decision.

Is there an end to labor?

Having babies is a huge eventful life and you really never know how lucky you are when you're holding your beautiful bundle of joy. What kind of miracle is it that you've created this beautiful little being and how miraculous is it when they enter the world. A new mom and dad should never take for granted the miracle of life. It's really easy to. I had three beautiful boys before conceiving baby number four. The pregnancy was full of ups and downs really testing my faith and knowing everything will be fine. Now in labor, not feeling it much with the epidural, awaiting to know what am I having. Deep down it didn't matter though. The few hours of labor day that started at 3pm on Labor Day soon went into the early evening, late evening, the next morning. Where is my baby? Not ready to join us yet. This experience of nearly 20 hours of labor is one I'll never forget. A life lesson was learned that day. Please don't ever take for granted a healthy baby and uneventful delivery you have. Sadly, I did on my first three. The pregnancies were uneventful-a little weight gain with some cravings, morning sickness, but overall, a great experience. Baby four brought the experience of weight gain, to getational diabetes, to weight loss, to misdiagnosis of gestational diabetes, to elevated blood pressure, and now a baby that has been lying transverse the entire time. I was so proud that I overcame all of the ups and downs this pregnancy had that I wasn't prepared for what other curves and bumps life just handed me. Not many people know how truly blessed I am to have a beautiful baby and how many people it took to see that it turned out that way. It still brings tears to my eyes as I relive those 4 days in the hospital.

The joy of labor

As a now mom of four beautiful boys, I feel incredibly sad for all of those women out there who can't or never will for whatever reason, be able to experience the miracle of childbirth. Each experience is so different, but the end result is hopefully the same, a beautiful baby.

There was no stopping it. Labor day this year meant labor day-time for the baby to be born. Despite not being mentally prepared for this incredible experience, it became oh so real when I put on the horrible hospital gown and saw the I.V. starting in my arm. Here comes the pitocin. I knew there was no turning back now. My life and family is about to change again. I was excited to finally meet this bundle of joy that had been kicking me for the past 9 months. We all were anxiously awaiting to "open the present" if you will to see if we were blessed with a son or a daughter. I was never picky in my years of being pregnant. All I ever hoped for was a healthy baby. Shortly after the EVC procedure was deemed successful, the pitocin was started and the contractions were on their way. Hour after hour passed...4pm, 7 pm, reading through baby books trying to find that perfect boy name we hadn't found yet. I kept thinking, no pressure, but well I was only fooling myself, as his birth was now inevitable and soon. We finally gave up with finding the perfect name at 1am Tuesday, Sept 8th. I just couldn't look at weird names anymore. The pain was really intense. The one shot of a pain killer at 11pm just didn't work very long. I had never had an epidural before, but I knew this baby will be my last, my pain was horrible, and let's have a new experience. An epidural is a personal choice, so I'm not saying it's right for everyone. I don't regret my childbirth experiences with my other 3 children at all. Each one was different and special in it's own way. I recieved an epidural shortly after 1am. It was a different experience getting a needle placed in your back. A little awkard feeling placing the needle catheter, but the end result was so worth it! They asked if I could feel that contraction. My reply, "What contraction?" How awesome of a feeling is that? Having no pain still doesn't alleviate the worries of wanting everything to go smoothly. As any of you know who have received Pitocin, it has it's downs, and my baby's heartrate was one of them.

Delivery Time

My husband and I returned to the hospital on Labor Day at 3pm for the ECV procedure. We had grandma come in and stay with our other children on the off chance that they'd keep me. My husband was pretty certain delivery day was here. I on the other hand was optimistic. I really wanted to wait another 2 weeks to be closer to my due date-September 22nd. Our 2 older boys also had their first day of school tomorrow. If I delivered the baby, that would mess up their first day of school. We arrived at the hospital at 3pm. They put me into a labor and delivery room and put on a gown. The two OB doctors arrived to do the ECV procedure. They first checked the baby's position with a portable ultrasound. Baby had turned from sideways (transverse) to completely breech. My disappointment quickly escalated. The chances of a successful turn just decreased from 75% to 50% working now. I only hoped we made the right decision. Part of me wanted to wait it out and see if baby would turn on it's own later. My midwife though had assured me those chances were very slim as I was almost 38 weeks and baby had been in the transverse position for most of my pregnancy. It had come to like that position. The longer I wait to have the ECV procedure done, the less chance it would work considering the baby will continue to grow taking up more room allowing less room to move around. The procedure took only about a minute. They monitored baby closely-the heart rate and position with ultrasound. They continued to monitor the baby after the procedure also. The midwife consulted the OB doctors about inducing labor immediately. Their thought was I still was having increased blood pressure, which could lead to preeclampsia, and since they were able to easily move the baby's position, it could easily move back again. I would then most likely be facing a c-section. I hestitantly agreed to be induced. I really struggled with this. I wasn't mentally ready to have a baby. We had everything ready at home for the baby. In my past pregnancies, two were induced on a scheduled date due to being over my due date and my other baby came on his due date. I knew he was coming soon as I started having contraction a couple of days before he was born. On all three of these, I had warning baby was coming. This baby, I didn't even pack my bag. I didn't have any time to get used to the idea. Baby was on it's way!

Baby is here!

Wow! How time flies. Here it is almost winter & Christmas. Through all of the tribulations, I delivered a beautiful baby boy 2 weeks before his due date. I was so concerned with the diagnosis of gestational diabetes and the possible complications of it, that now looking back, I overcame that only to have a more difficult complication. I tested my sugars as directed by my midwife and was controlling them with no difficulty. The midwife stated I could have fallen into the 1% that are misdiagnosed. I received some difficult news during my routine dr appt at 37bwks 2 days. Baby was laying transverse and couldn't be delivered that way for a successful vaginal delivery. I was devestated. I had three previous uneventful pregnancies and now this. My options were to undergo an ECV procedure or have a planned csection at 39 weeks. Since this was my last baby and all of my previous babies were delivered vaginally, I wanted that option. I did my research on the ECV procedure (external cephalic version), this is where a trained OB physician turns the baby on the outside of your abdomen. It has potential risky complications, although a very low percent. During this appointment, my blood pressure started elevating. I reassured my midwife that is was the stress of this news. It didn't seem to comfort her too much, but I told her I was fine & I'd see her in a week. She didn't like that response and decided I needed to follow up with her on Monday, Labor Day. She was oncall at the hospital. Since the clinic was closed for the holiday, I had arranged to go to the hospital at 10am to have a blood pressure check, check baby's position, and have a consult with an OB dr in regards to the
ECV procedure. My husband and I got there a little after 10am on Labor Day. I expected to be there for less than an hour. To my surprise, we left there around 12:30pm only to have to return at 3pm. The nonstress test on baby showed a healthy very active baby, but my blood pressure still elevated. My blood work showed only minor elevations but the baby was still transverse. I was now 37 weeks and 6 days. After speaking to the OB dr, we decided to go ahead with the procedure. He personally had not had any complications. I'd need to go 6 hours without food. Since I ate at 9am, I'd return at 3pm to have it done. To be continued....